suffering

Read more about the article Your Faith Has Saved You

Your Faith Has Saved You

In the Gospel of Mark we encounter the story of the woman with a hemorrhage who follows behind Jesus in a crowd. She touches His cloak and is immediately healed. (Mk 5:21-43)  It is one of Jesus’s many miracles — in the Bible and throughout history.  He continues to work miracles in our lives today, but so many times I hear people complain “Well, I prayed for healing and He didn’t listen to me.” These are among the most bitter people, disappointed and angry with God. So why does God heal some but not others?  I certainly cannot presume to know the mind of God, but I have pondered this question, and as I do, I turn to scripture as the key to unlock some answers.

 “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” (Mt 18:3)

There’s that word we all run away from: “change.” None of us really want to change ourselves.  We would be much happier if God would change and run things our way, so that’s the first stumbling block. He says to become like “little children.” Little children are humble and trusting.  They don’t think they have all the answers.  Instead, they turn to their parents.  They aren’t afraid to say “I don’t know” because they haven’t had enough time on earth to become prideful — and they trust completely.

Would it be so terrible to become like little children? Wouldn’t it be a welcome respite to not feel the need to have all the answers? To not have to be in control? To not feel responsible for everything? Wouldn’t it be a relief to put down those heavy burdens He never asked us to carry in the first place? True freedom actually comes when we have the courage to change – to become humble, to become trusting, to let God be in control.

This was the disposition of the woman with the hemorrhage. She didn’t demand Jesus’s attention. She didn’t try to bend Him to her will. She didn’t even try to delay Him.  She only wanted to touch the back of His cloak. She was humble. She had complete faith in Him, trusting that she would be healed. He says to her, “Your faith has saved you.” He didn’t just heal her physical body; he saved her soul for eternity.

The woman did something else we usually overlook. She listened when He spoke to her.  Do we do the same? Prayer is a dialogue with God which means both people talk and both people listen. Do we just talk at God to give Him our list of wants and consider our “prayer” done? Do we sit with a closed heart, hoping not to hear the voice of God because we aren’t sure we are going to like what He has to say?

What about forgiveness? Have we forgiven our brothers and sisters from our hearts before approaching God? If my child comes to me with dirty hands and asks for a cookie, I tell him to wash his hands first. How can we then go to God with dirty hearts full of unforgiveness and expect that He won’t ask the same of us? Do we stand there with our grudges firmly held, arms crossed, refusing to open them to lovingly exchange an embrace with God? If we won’t allow Him into our hearts, how can we allow Him into our bodies?

“…God clothes the wild flowers growing in the field which are there today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, will He not much more look after you, you who have so little faith?” (Mt 6:30)

God always delights in giving His children good gifts and we need to prepare ourselves to receive them with faith. Sometimes we do not receive physical healing, but that does not mean He has abandoned us. It means that He is trying to draw us closer to Him.  Often we neglect Him when things are going well and only turn to Him when they are not.  Unfortunately, this neglect of prayer tends to lead us on paths far away from God and above all, He wants to lead us to Him because He desires our eternal salvation. 

A priest told me that he often visits the sick in the hospital. One day he went to visit someone who had requested his presence, but that person had checked out and a new patient was in the room. He thought since he was there already, he should say hello. The woman was not baptized and had never practiced any faith but she welcomed his visit.  At the end of their conversation she requested Baptism. After meeting with the family who saw how much this meant to her, they arranged a time at the hospital for the Sacraments of Initiation — Baptism, Eucharist, and Confirmation. She died shortly after. At the funeral the only Catholics there were the priest and the deceased, so he preached the beauty of the Catholic faith to those in attendance. Within a year, half the people who had come to the funeral were on their way to becoming Catholic. Sometimes suffering can lead to your family’s salvation as well as your own.

Sometimes He does not heal our physical wounds right away because the spiritual wounds are so much worse and need to be attended to first. The Inner Healing Prayer (see below) said daily can assist us in opening our hearts. Other times suffering is a blessing in disguise that we can offer up in atonement for our sins, which brings us the grace of a shorter Purgatory.  In some cases, suffering is a gift of a white or red martyrdom because He wishes to give us even greater gifts in Heaven. Whether or not we receive a physical healing, if we open ourselves to His will and trust in Him then our spiritual healing can begin. Then and only then can we receive His greatest gift — the gift of His peace which is beyond all understanding. (Phil 4:7)

Prayer For Inner Healing

Dear Lord Jesus, please come and heal my wounded and troubled heart.  I beg you to heal the torments that are causing anxiety in my life.  I beg you, in a particular way, to heal the underlying source of my sinfulness.  I beg you to come into my life and heal the psychological harms that struck me in my childhood and from the injuries they have caused throughout my life.

Lord Jesus, you know my burdens. I lay them on your Good Shepherd’s Heart.  I beseech you — by the merits of the great open wound in your heart — to heal the small wounds that are in mine.  Heal my memories, so that nothing that has happened to me will cause me to remain in pain and anguish, filled with anxiety.

Heal, O Lord, all those wounds that have been the cause of evil that is rooted in my life.  I want to forgive all those who have offended me.  Look to those inner sores that make me unable to forgive.  You who came to forgive the afflicted of heart, please, heal my wounded and troubled heart.

Heal, O Lord Jesus, all those intimate wounds that are the root cause of my physical illness.  I offer you my heart.  Accept it, Lord, purify it and give me the sentiments of your Divine Heart.

Heal me, O Lord, from the pain caused by the death of my loved ones.  Grant me to regain peace and joy in the knowledge that you are the Resurrection and the Life.  Make me an authentic witness to your resurrection, your victory over sin and death, and your loving presence among all men.  Amen.

Prayer for Inner Healing taken from Spiritual Warfare Prayers published by Valentine Publishing House. Reprinted with permission. Originally printed in An Exorcist Tells His Story by Reverend Gabriele Amorth (p. 201-202). Reprinted with permission of Ignatius Press, San Francisco, CA. For your copy of the Spiritual Warfare Prayers for this and other prayers, go to www.CatholicWarriors.com.

Thank you to Brian Archbold for sharing this photograph.

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Read more about the article Good Friday

Good Friday

A non-religious friend of mine asked me, “What’s so good about Good Friday?  What’s so good about Jesus being tortured and dying?” It got me thinking about how lazy we have become in our language.  In Shakespeare’s time the average person used about 30,000 different words; we use about 5,000.  We substitute one word to mean so many things that the word loses its real meaning.  We use the word “good” when we mean “tasty” (a good meal), “entertaining” (a good movie), “pleasant” (good weather), “loyal” (a good friend), and let’s not forget “nice” (good manners).

“It is good” spoken by God at Creation, gives us insight into what goodness really means.  At this moment there is perfect order in the universe.  All of nature is in harmony with God.  The “good” accomplished on Good Friday is that Jesus has completed the work to restore the universe to perfect order.  We have the opportunity to be restored to the state of grace that had been lost and can choose to live in harmony with God.

What is good about Good Friday?  The price for our sin had finally been paid – one time for all eternity.  Every time God entered into a covenant with humankind, we broke the covenant.  He finally made a covenant with the one person who could and would keep it – His Son – and God became Man for us to make and keep the covenant as a Man for all humanity.  It is His fulfilling of the covenant perfectly that is “good.”  The word “good” is a reflection of God Himself in His glory, in His mercy, and in His love.

It is this love which we seek to understand better and why Good Friday calls every Catholic home – even those who have been away for a while.  To contemplate His suffering is to enter into the mystery of His profound love for us.  We cannot grow in our love for Him without entering into mystery of His suffering.  It is this willingness to “compassionate” Jesus, to enter into His suffering with Him, placing ourselves at the foot of the cross next to Blessed Mother, that brings so many graces into our lives, enabling us to break the chains of habitual sin and free our souls to love Him more deeply and become the best version of ourselves.

I have written 15 meditations of The Passion below.  They can be used for a 15 decade Rosary, a 15 decade Chaplet of Divine Mercy, or Stations of the Cross.  The tone in these meditations is unlike my regular posts.  They are very graphic, so sensitive people may find them disturbing.  If you don’t want to read them, stop reading here.

1st Decade:  Pilate knew Jesus was innocent, but he was more interested in keeping power. He knew that once he gave Jesus over to be scourged, the soldiers would be merciless to Jesus.  He had seen it before many times.  Many people never made it to their crucifixion because the soldiers killed them while torturing them.  This didn’t have to happen — Pilate allowed it to happen.  He had no love for anyone.  And the soldiers were so overjoyed that they had another victim.  They were drunk in their gluttony and they were drunk with hatred as they beat Jesus.  When Jesus could no longer stand, they kicked Him and stomped on Him.  They stomped on His hands when He was trying to get up again.  When Jesus finally made it to His knees, they kicked Him in the stomach.  They pounded on Him for hours and hours and they cursed God as they did it.

2nd Decade:  The soldiers beat Jesus’ face with a rod.  They beat Him to a bloody pulp.  Then the soldiers, who were wearing metal gloves, punched Him, ripping the skin off His face.  By the time Blessed Mother saw Him, there was nothing left of the face She loved.

3rd Decade:  The soldiers finished scourging Jesus and untied His hands.  He was so weak that immediately fell to the ground.  The soldiers yelled at Him to get up, but He could not.  They began to curse Him and viciously kick Him in the ribs.  He still couldn’t get up.  Then one of the soldiers in a rage approached and grabbed the hair on His head and yanked Him to His feet.  He didn’t pull Him straight up either.  Jesus was dragged before He was actually lifted up.  Another soldier came and put the purple robe on Him.  A third soldier approached with the crown of thorns and slammed it down on His head.  Three of the thorns pierced His skull.  One went through His skull and came out above His eye.  Jesus staggered, trying not to fall.  As He staggered around, the soldiers hit Him and beat His face, torso and back with their fists.

4th Decade:  Then they forced Jesus to carry the cross.  The cross was made of very rough wood.  As He dragged it, He got splinters in His hands and imbedded in His shoulders. The flesh on His shoulder was rubbed off through to the bone, and the sweat dripping from His brow stung His shoulder very badly Jesus fell three times under the weight of the cross.  The road He walked was uneven and rocky and the rocks tore the flesh from His knees and were imbedded in His bones.

5th Decade:  Mary met Jesus on the road to Calvary. Her heart was breaking to see Jesus in so much pain.  Jesus looked into Her eyes and saw that She was suffering everything that He suffered.  Upon seeing Jesus, Mary fell on Her knees in worship.  The crowds upon seeing this went mad.  They roughly pushed Blessed Mother aside.  They pushed Her so roughly that She fell into the street and scraped Her hands on the gravel.  They started insulting Her and cursing Her.  Jesus cried in pain for the way they treated His Beloved Mother, the gentle dove who never hurt anyone. His dearly beloved Mother who had nurtured Him for so many years, given Him so much love, was suffering so much.  It broke Jesus’s heart;  He fell every time Her image came into His mind because He was so overwhelmed with grief.

6th Decade:  Simon was forced to help Jesus carry the cross.  Jesus spoke no words to Simon, but pleaded with His eyes, “Please have pity on me.  Please help me.  I am dying for you.  Please show me just a little compassion.”  But Simon hated Jesus.  He resented being forced to carry the cross.  He only did it because he feared the soldiers would kill him if he refused.  His burning hatred wounded Our Lord terribly. Mary felt his hatred in Her heart and it took Her breath away.  Her fervent prayers for Simon rained down graces for his conversion and softened his heart.

7th Decade:  When He got to Golgotha, He stood there while they ripped the clothes off His body.  The blood had dried against the cloth.  The little flesh that he had left was ripped off in chunks with the cloth.  As Jesus was standing there in agony, one of the soldiers offered Him something to drink that was drugged with a painkiller.  But Jesus refused this drink.  The others soldiers who were preparing the cross saw this, and that’s when they got the idea to make the holes for His hands and feet so far apart.  Then when Jesus lay down on the cross, they wrapped chains around Him and pulled, dislocating His arms and legs from their sockets so that he would fit in the holes they had made.

8th Decade:  Then they nailed Him to the cross.  But they didn’t tie the ropes tightly enough and when they lifted the cross up, Jesus slid down the cross.  The nails tore through His hands and the splinters dug into His very bones. As He slid down the cross, the agony was so great that He cried out with blood curdling screams.   He tried so hard to hold them back, but the pain was too great.  And His Dearly Beloved Mother upon hearing Jesus’ screams, almost died in agony at His suffering.

9th Decade: Jesus was naked on the cross.  When His Mother saw Him on the cross, what She saw did not even look human. His arms, legs, torso, His whole body was scourged.  His poor Mother, She had never seen a man like this.  She looked up and saw Her Son and what She saw wasn’t even a body anymore. Jesus was torn apart, mangled.  As Blessed Mother stood at the foot of the cross and looked up at His agony, She was filled with a sea of sorrow and distress.  The blood dripping from Jesus’s body fell on Her face and was mingled with Her own tears. 

10th Decade:  There were many flies circling in the heat.  They landed on Jesus and He could do nothing to chase them away.  His body was a carcass, rotting on the cross while He was still alive.

11th Decade:  The sun was so hot it burned Jesus’s body.  His sweat caused every wound to sting mercilessly. His skin was so sunburned that by the time they took Him down from the cross and put Him in His Mother’s arms, His entire body was blistered.

12th Decade:  His lips were cracked and bleeding on the cross.  His tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth.  He could barely ask for a drink, but He had to. He knew it would sting His cracked lips, but He had to say goodbye to His Mother, and He had to give Her to us.

13th Decade:  As He hung on that cross, every nerve of His body was stretched and broken.  He convulsed in agony.  His poor Mother’s heart was broken to see Him suffering like that.

14th Decade:  Jesus was overwhelmed with grief at the abandonment of those who loved Him. Blessed Mother was at the foot of the cross desperately praying every second with such profound intensity that only heaven can comprehend,  but Jesus couldn’t feel it.  As Jesus cried out to His Father, “Why have you abandoned Me?” Satan stood at the foot of the cross and said, “You see, God doesn’t love you”  and continued laughing at Him and taunting Him.

15th Decade: When the soldier pierced His heart, the blood and water flowed separately because His Heart was broken with sorrow. Mary physically felt the pain of the sword in Her own heart.  She screamed in agony and collapsed into the arms of St. John.

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Read more about the article The Book of Job

The Book of Job

Then the LORD* answered Job out of the storm and said: Who is this who darkens counsel with words of ignorance? . . I will question you, and you tell me the answers! Where were you when I founded the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its size? Surely you know? Who stretched out the measuring line for it? Into what were its pedestals sunk, and who laid its cornerstone, while the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God* shouted for joy? Have you ever in your lifetime commanded the morning and shown the dawn its place for taking hold of the ends of the earth, till the wicked are shaken from it?  Then Job answered the LORD and said: I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be hindered.  I have spoken but did not understand;  things too marvelous for me, which I did not know. (Job 38:1-7,12-13, 42:1, 3) (Bible.usccb.org)

This excerpt from the Book of Job is familiar to all of us.  Job has lost everything and everyone. His body is wracked with sudden disease and pain.  He is a good man.  Why is this evil visited upon him? He demands answers from God.  We have all been in Job’s shoes to some extent at some point in our lives.  We understand Job and can empathize with his sorrow, anger, and despondency.  Miraculously, God enters into a conversation with Job.  The conversation does not go as Job planned.  Instead of answering the question Job asks, God shows him the depth and breadth of creation – oceans, jungles, stars, galaxies.  Job is overwhelmed.  With humility he realizes with Whom he is speaking and how little he has appreciated everything God created simply so that man could exist.  He reconciles with God, not because God answers his question, but because God answered the question buried deep in the recesses of Job’s heart that he was afraid to ask:  Have you abandoned me? Do you still love me?  When God entered into a conversation with Job, He was telling him that he did indeed matter.  He had not been abandoned.  When God showed him the entire universe in a glimpse, Job finally realized that everything was created for his benefit; everything was created to support life on this little blue-green planet, because as tiny and insignificant as we seem in comparison to the universe, we matter. We are loved.

Even if God had answered Job’s original question, Job would not have understood the answer.  The Incarnation had not happened yet and Job could not have comprehended the answer. We can see Job as one of us, but he is also a type of prefiguring of Christ.  Job is a good and faithful man who loves God with all his heart.  Jesus is perfection and loves God perfectly and completely. As Job’s fortunes go from bad to worse, he does not curse God but instead continues to bless His Name.  Even after Jesus is arrested and tortured, He remains in His Father’s Will, moving toward His plan of redemption. When Job finally he cries out to God and submits himself to His will, everything is then resurrected for him.   Jesus cries out to the Father from the cross, then hands over His spirit; in three days He is resurrected.  It is only through Jesus that we can make sense of suffering.

So why do bad things happen to good people?  Bad things happen because sin and death entered the world when Adam and Eve, created in a state of grace, chose to sin — and the rest of us haven’t done any better.  There is no such thing as a private sin that doesn’t affect anyone else. The sin of a single person affects everyone.  Because sin creates disorder, there is a ripple effect everywhere, even in nature itself.  

But this isn’t cause for despair because God has fulfilled His promise.  The Incarnation – God becoming man has happened and that has changed everything.  When Jesus chose to take on human form and experience every single human frailty and hardship, He gave value and meaning to these experiences. As a baby in Bethlehem born in shivering cold, hiding in Egypt away from all family connections, losing his beloved St. Joseph, hungry for 40 days in the desert, chased out of town for his teaching, betrayed by one of his closest companions, abandoned by his friends, maligned by people for speaking the truth, tortured and put on a cross for a crime He did not commit, He experienced every possible suffering that can be experienced. 

He did not come to end the human suffering in the world.  He entered into it with us, immersing Himself into the entire human experience, using every moment of it to glorify God and thus giving value and meaning to all of it.  So, when we experience injustice and suffering, we can offer these up to Jesus as prayers.  As we ask Jesus to join our suffering to His suffering on the cross, He takes this offering and gives it redemptive value.  No longer is suffering meaningless pain, but a gift offered to the Father for the salvation of souls.  When we give this gift with love, it is then we become most like Jesus.  The angels rush to our side to comfort us, our Blessed Mother embraces us, and Jesus makes His home in our heart and gives us His peace.  It is the gifts of love, given with a generous heart, that store up our treasures in Heaven, treasures that will never pass away.  Suffering is therefore not an abandonment by God, but an invitation to imitate His Beloved Son.

Thank you to Bill Fuller for giving me permission to share this beautiful photograph of the desert sky which inspired this post.

Continue ReadingThe Book of Job

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